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In Barack Obama’s second book The Audacity of Hope, he makes an astute observation:
"... most people who serve in Washington have been trained either as lawyers or as political operatives - professions that tend to place a premium on winning arguments rather than solving problems." (page 48)This extends, I think, beyond our national politics (minus the formal training in law and policy). We’re becoming an entire nation of people who focus on winning arguments, and not to knock the lawyers among you, but winning the argument doesn’t do much for us. Winning the healthcare argument doesn’t make costs lower or care more affordable. Winning the argument with a friend or family member doesn’t mean you’ve built a closer relationship. And winning the argument at work doesn’t mean you’ve been more productive.
In our own lives, at work, at home, with friends, we should focus on solving the problem, not winning the argument. It’s not to say we don’t have things that we shouldn’t fight to win. There are arguments worth having and values worth debating and defending; the challenge lies in reframing those to address the basic issue and fight for what’s most important to solve the real problem. From Thank You for Smoking: “That’s the beauty of argument. If you argue correctly, you’re never wrong.”
Not being wrong isn't the same thing as not doing wrong. And isn't that a higher value to strive for - being good?
2 people have something to say:
So true. I think a big part of the blockage people face is that compromise is hard and makes them feel like they've lost something more often than it makes them feel like everybody won a little bit in the process of solving a problem.
@ Mitch: I agree - we're not easy to give up an inch to go a mile, but even more so, we've placed such a premium on being correct that we're blind to any alternative solutions that may be better and more synergistic than our original plan.
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